South Park: The Fractured But Whole

0:17 Hello, everyone, and welcome back to The Other Castle. The Other Castle, I'm Andrea. And my name is Tom. Here on The Other Castle, we do the plot, lore, and more behind all your favorite video games, starting from production to development to casting and actual work of the game and then how the game actually functions itself. And if this is your first time, you can check us out at our website, theothercastlepodcast.com. That's theothercastlepodcast.com. Over there, we have links to our Instagram, our Discord, our item shop, as well as our Patreon. And on our Patreon, we'll be doing the DLC to today's game. If you're curious about that, our Patreon is $2 a month, and we have a seven-day free trial. Every month, we have new episodes on and off season. We also do early access during the season, so we have all sorts of reasons to join up.

0:58 It's very fun, and we appreciate our patrons for keeping the lights on. That's right, because we are ad-free otherwise. Yay! Woohoo! So here we are. We are finally going back to season four once again. Ooh! With South Park The Fractured But Whole. I love that title so much. Yeah, it depends on how you say it, right? But Whole. Well, South Park wouldn't exist today without its creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They met in college and were immediately drawn to one another's sense of humor. They love each other. They would produce low-budget, independent productions such as Cannibal the Musical, as well as the Criterion Collection Classic, Orgasmo.

1:39 I'm just going to say out loud, art is subjective. The origins of South Park itself come from a short, animated film they made for a class using construction paper called The Spirit of Christmas. In this short, Jesus Christ fights a demonic snowman that was built by four boys who resemble South Park's main characters Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman. The biggest difference being that the person who looks like Cartman was named Kenny while the others weren't given names at all. An executive at Fox, a man named Brian Graydon, saw the short and commissioned the duo to create a similar short film as a video Christmas card he wanted to send to the people on his list, replacing the snowman with Santa Claus in the fight.

2:24 Hollywood people take Christmas card lists very seriously. So do we. As it's essentially a status symbol to be on certain ones. That's true. One of the people on this list was actor George Clooney. He loved the video Christmas card, which was on VHS tape, mind you. Well, that must have been a fucking fortune to ship. Oh my God, right? Well, he showed it to everyone in his circle, going so far as making copies to pass out to people. Like the ring. This is considered by many to be the first ever viral video. They did it without the help of the internet. Wow. From there, they received an offer to make the show, which premiered on Wednesday, August 13th, 1997 at 10 PM on Comedy Central.

3:09 Hell yeah. A time slot it maintains to this very day when new episodes air. I love that. It's also the reason we drop new episodes on Wednesdays. Oh shit. Because if you've listened to this show enough, you know that South Park is one of our absolute favorite franchises in public culture. Obviously, we're not alone because here we are, 27 years later, still talking about it. A show as successful as South Park obviously became a licensed merchandise dream, resulting in the inevitable video game tie-in, none of which had the involvement of Trey and Matt until 2014's South Park, The Stick of Truth. I love that game. Yeah, which we covered in season four. As a reminder, Stick of Truth was built out by a studio called Obsidian Entertainment, who we're going to hear from again later this season.

3:53 Oh. They were supposed to release the game through THQ, but that studio went bankrupt literally months before release. What a fucking nightmare. Yeah, and then Ubisoft came in to buy up their properties, preventing it from getting canceled along with THQ. The game was a big success, and the team almost immediately went into production on the sequel. Hell yeah. For the new game, Ubisoft went with their in-house team of developers, as well as their proprietary game engine, Snowdrop. But they didn't have to rebuild from scratch. The first game had started from nothing, as their engine was not compatible with the animation program used to make the TV show. That makes sense.

4:34 Snowdrop, however, was compatible with the software. So they get poured over a lot of the assets and shit they had for the TV show seamlessly? Not most, all. Oh shit, that's awesome. Everything South Park's ever made was immediately accessible to them. Oh my God, what a dream. It took about a year to build that out, but still. But they did it. This would also allow for on-the-fly updates that made it possible to include references to episodes that had aired just weeks prior to the game's launch. That's so cool. Instead of the fantasy setting Stick of Truth employed, Fractured But Whole was going to tap into the superhero personas they had established for their characters over the course of the series. The three-part Coon and Friends saga during season 14 being the main influence.

5:16 There's also a single episode in season 21 titled Franchise Prequel being the semi-setup to the game's storyline, establishing the different teams the kids would be on at the start of the game. It's not required viewing, but the events are canonical to the game as it picks up lots of plot points that were left unresolved in the episode. Also, it's fun, so just watch it. Right, totally. And those are on HBO Max, I believe? They are, yes. Despite making it easier to develop, the game was still delayed five times between December 6, 2016 and its eventual release on October 17, 2017. It sucks they had to push it back that many times, but Devil's Avocado is leased within a year. Right, and everyone on the team said the delays weren't for any other reason than polishing.

6:00 Some sections simply weren't fun. Some storylines didn't contribute to the overall plot, and some jokes just weren't landing. Fair. I'll die on the hill that I would rather they polish it first rather than release it and patch it along the way. Fully. I think we talked about that in our Cyberpunk episode of like, I'd rather just fucking wait, release something good, not something fast. Yeah, Snow Day. Honestly, it's really unfortunate that Snow Day sucks because Fractured But Whole was such a freaking triumph. It's up there with the best sequels of all time by taking something great and making it amazing. Hell yeah. Fractured But Whole released two positive reviews, praising it for its new systems as well as the story and humor.

6:40 It would also receive two-story DLCs, containing elements of the cut content that caused the delays. They took the time to fix them up and make them work as standalones. Check out our Patreon to find out what happens in those. We offer a seven-day free trial, so you don't have to give us one penny. That's theothercastlepodcast.com. On that note, get ready to see friendly faces everywhere, Goombas, as we go on down to South Park and have ourselves a time. Because this is South Park, The Fractured But Whole. Yee-haw. As in the first adventure, you begin with your character creation screen. Unlike the first one, you can now choose your gender identity. Yay.

7:20 Choosing anything other than cis male will prompt a character later to comment on the fact that they are sorry for misgendering you before. Yeah. Having never bothered to ask your pronouns before now. Even someone like Eric Cartman is woke as fuck when it comes to gender identity. I would also say that if you ever thought South Park was anything other than woke as fuck, then it means you've never really understood South Park. You weren't in on the joke. No. As it balances that wokeness with some of the most offensive things you've ever seen in media. Oh right. Trigger Warnings for this episode. Yeah. Just all of them. That tracks, that fully tracks. All the trigger warnings I'm going to say and describe things that would never otherwise cross my mind or mouth.

8:05 The change in direction for Fractured But Whole is evident in its opening moments. As the story opens with Cartman's alt, The Coon, talking about the dying whore of a city, known as South Park. That's my favorite fucking line. How many times a week do I say, this city is a dying whore? It's a great line, isn't it? It's so good. A missing cat poster is seen clinging to a light pole, depicting the ugliest cat you've ever seen, named Scrambles, offering a $100 reward for its return. The Coon's gravelly voice says that cats are going missing, people are taking shits in their neighbor's lawns, and the cops are doing nothing to stop it.

8:46 I'm really proud of you for not doing the voice. It's very tempting, I know. It's right there. I appreciate that. To make matters worse, there are two factions of superheroes running around, each with their own ideologies and methods of crime fighting. The Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends. In order to prevent the next catastrophe, the Coon must enlist the help of someone from the recent past, a person who had once brought peace to the realm after a powerful stick tore it asunder. The Coon steps into his bedroom closet, determined to travel back in time to recruit this legendary hero. Closing the bureau door, the screen goes black and the title screen appears.

9:30 South Park, The Fractured But Whole. We are next taken to the streets of South Park, where children are dressed in fantasy gear, enacting out an epic battle for Koopa Keep, an important location in the first game. Koopa Keep is being taken captive by the enemy forces, and Kyle Broflosky wonders aloud, where is our mighty and noble king? Cut to you, the New Kid, wearing a crown along with a long red cape, sitting on your throne of porcelain, taking a shit. It's good to be back home in South Park. Exiting the bathroom, you see mom and dad in the hallway, having a screaming match with one another.

10:13 But they stop when they notice you, acting like nothing is wrong and encourage you to go outside and play with your friends. They were fighting because they moved to South Park to hide from their past, and with you making so many friends, that's making it more difficult. Plus, dad keeps getting high, and mom doesn't like it, which is causing her to drink. Classic. Exiting the house. Kyle and Butters are at the front door, telling you that your help is needed to take back Koopa Keep. This gives you the tutorial introducing the drastically different battle system. It's based off D&D, all of games like Baldur's Gate rather than traditional JRPGs. This incorporates a grid system and movement mechanics on the battlefield that determine the outcome of your actions in a fight.

10:55 This allows your character's freedom to move about the field to line up their attacks, as well as avoid ones from enemies. From time to time, a car will interrupt the fight, as you all move off the street to let it pass, pausing the battle entirely. Then once the car passes while yelling obscenities at you damn kids, you move back into position and resume the war. I really like the battle system in this. It's a fantastic one, isn't it? It feels good. It feels very strategic when you get to mark out where your damage goes and stuff. Strategic, I think, is a great way to put it. You fight your way from your house to Cartman's, where the kingdom of Koopa Keep is located. Now, Andrea, stay with us here because on the way, you encounter a dragon.

11:37 I'm going to, I don't know, kill some time somewhere else. No, it's just a big cardboard monstrosity over a little red wagon. Oh, it's not real? I'm in. This is fine. I played this game several times. Already forgot. It's been a couple of years. Yeah, I fully have forgotten about this. You mentioned you were going to do this game. I went, oh, that's fucking awesome. I remember two scenes, and I think I haven't played this in the last five years. Well, unlike other sequel games, such as Kingdom Hearts 2, this game lets you keep the power you obtained in Stick of Truth. Hell yeah. You defeat the dragon with ease, earning the title of King Douchebag, the Dragon Slayer.

12:17 Oh. I do wish they would have pulled the same character from your save file for this, but unfortunately, they just give you a random OP one instead. It happens. Once you make it to Koopa Keep, the bad guy, which are just other South Park kids, are torturing Jimmy the Bard, Volmer, for information on the Stick of Truth. Jimmy insists the new king threw it in the ocean. Kyle asks where the Grand Wizard is, as the whole reason this battle began was because he sent a distress signal. From above, a hiss is heard, and a shadowy figure descends on the group. It's the Coon, which is just Eric Cartman dressed as a raccoon.

12:59 You know that the word Coon has some racial connotations, right? I didn't want to jump into that, but yeah. Okay. I just want to acknowledge that these aren't our words. A lot of people don't understand what their names mean when they are putting them together, because there's some other characters with just as bad of names. Yeah. He tells everyone he's from the future, and he needs help tracking down a missing cat named Scrambles. It's the key to taking down the crime syndicate spreading through South Park. As it always is. Everyone else is like, dude, Cartman, you can't force everyone to change games just because you don't want to be a wizard anymore. But this is Eric Cartman we're talking about. He ignores their protests and barrels through as if everyone had just agreed.

13:40 He's going to get his way. Clyde asks Coon if taking down a crime syndicate is a little bit on the large side for Coon and Friends. The Coon says, oh, what? You want to leave it to The Freedom Pals? This makes Kyle, a character who has never gotten along with Cartman, say, fuck Freedom Pals. Mrs. Cartman appears at the back door of the house saying that there's an alarm going off in the basement. Eric says, the Coon layer, we must return to the future. Begrudgingly, the group starts taking off their fantasy outfits so they can change into their superhero costumes instead. Because they are whole ass being forced to switch gears. Yep.

14:21 Love it. Cartman once again getting his way. Down in the basement, the Coon is joined by other members of Coon and Friends. We have Kyle Broflowski as the Human Kite, Clyde Donovan as Mosquito, Craig Tucker as Super Craig, and Jimmy Vollmer as Fastpass. Those aren't too bad. No, not too bad, right? Coon is telling everyone how they need to get better clout on Instagram. Sorry, Coonstagram. Coonstagram. Freedom Pals has over 100 followers, whereas Coon and Friends only has six, with five of them being members. And then one porn bot. Right. It's Tom from MySpace. Oh no.

15:01 Coon gives everyone an area of town to search for the missing cat, and tells them to report back if they find anything out. As they leave, you enter the basement. Coon looks you up and down in your king costume, and says that since you don't have a superhero character, you can watch them play from the sidelines, or be a henchman if you really want to play. No one wants to be a henchman. After he realizes you aren't leaving, he invites you to join him at the Coon and Friends table. He tells you that if you want to play superheroes, then you have to create your character sheet first. From here, he walks you through choosing your character class and your tragic backstory. The hero name he assigns being Butt Lord.

15:41 Isn't that what they called you in college, Tom? No, what? No. I'm kidding. They didn't really know who you were. No. As well as your mild-mannered alter ego, Butt Hole. Butt Hole. In creating the tragic backstory, you are given a chance to try out the new class that you chose by defeating a couple intruders during a flashback to when you were six. Since you're no longer playing fantasy, you have to start back at level one. Defeating the intruders isn't the end of your backstory, though. It's just the beginning. Dun, dun, dun. As you went to check on your parents after the battle, you walked into their bedroom to find your dad fucking your mom.

16:24 This was a whole battle set piece in the first game. Right. You had to dodge daddy balls and shit. Well, to a fatherless child that is as fucked in the head as Eric Cartman, that's the worst possible thing you can see, and the most logical reason to become a crime fighter. It's basically Batman's origin story. I get it. Something to do with his parents. I'm fuzzy on the details. It's fine. Somebody has a pearl necklace. Tom, are you fucking serious right now? What is wrong with you? It's South Park. Sorry. Yeah, no. I need to check my shit. Never mind. You're right. You're right. God damn it.

17:07 Fuck you. Coon gives you your search area to hunt for scrambles and informs you that your side mission is to recruit as many friends on Coonstagram as possible, which was technically one of your superpowers in the first game. The other being your ability to fart on command, hence the name Buttlord. I do like that in the first game, it is Facebook or whatever their version of it. Now we're like, that's some old shit. I'd love to see a third game where they're doing TikTok dances. Right, it would be great, but instead we got fucking... Snow day. Snow day. This time around, it's not just the followers you're after. You also need to get selfies of yourself with the people you've helped.

17:47 Some people won't take one with you though, until you are popular enough. You know, as Paris Hilton once said, a selfie is the new autograph. That's right. Wandering the area, you eventually pass by the Marsh Family Residence. As this game predates Tegardy Farms by one year to the date. So they still live in town. They do still live in town. Nice. Where you run into my all-time favorite character, Randy Marsh. You love Randy so much. An unhealthy amount. Like you ride for Randy. I feel like you ride for him harder when he's wrong. I will always ride for Randy, especially when he's wrong. You're like, oh, is he the pop star Lord? That's my man right there.

18:28 Is he giving himself ball cancer to access dispensary weed? That's my man's. Damn right. Man's got tegrity. He's trying to buff out a bunch of scratch marks on the hood of his wife's car. Seeing his favorite kid, he tells you that someone keeps coming by at night to key her car. Not only that, they're leaving notes saying things like, I thought we had something. Randy is worried his wife Sharon was having an affair that she must have broken off, and these notes are from her former lover. Randy asks you to catch whoever is key in the car, saying that if you pull that off, he'll take a selfie. Nice. Which he says you'll want, because he's basically the South Park equivalent to a Kennedy.

19:10 He is. They're basically the Kennedys. Right. Coon tells you to go to Human Kite's house, as he is sending a distress signal requesting backup. You get to the Barofolowski residence, and Human Kite is pissed that Coon sent in a rookie. He tells you that the situation is way too complicated. A version of himself from a different possible timeline appeared and is currently wrecking his bedroom upstairs. Oh, shit. Since back to the future rules apply here, Human Kite can't confront his future self and needs you to handle it for him, sending you into his room. Inside is a very rare South Park character, having appeared in only three of the over 300 episodes. Kyle Barofolowski's asthmatic and extremely stereotypically Jewish cousin, Kyle Schwartz.

19:56 I remember him. Dressed as Human Kite 2. He also has the nasally voice. It's fantastic. Right. Rules be damned, Human Kite joins you saying that Human Kite 2 is giving him a bad name. Human Kite 2 says that his aunt told him he could be whatever superhero he wanted to be because he's the guest. So he chose his favorite cousin's character because why can't there be two Human Kites? In order to restore balance to the Kite lineage, you must defeat Human Kite 2. Who attempts a special move during the fight and instead ruptures a hernia, defeating himself in the end.

20:37 Hell yeah. It's hard as a child to have a hernia. Right. It's hard as an adult. Yeah. It's usually reserved for your later stages in life. This kid's seven. That sucks. Yeah. He's constantly in peril. Yeah. As you explore South Park itself, you'll encounter other characters who need help with little side quests in order to get them to take a selfie with you. You also discover the obstacles that will be in your way and that you'll need to gain different abilities to overcome, such as the floor being lava. Red Lego bricks are mysteriously spread in front of some buildings, representing a lava pit that you cannot cross. As you level up searching for the cat, you will gain new abilities and clothing sets.

21:20 Clothes are different this time around, as they are mostly cosmetic, whereas they determined your stats in the Stick of Truth. Here, you build out your character's talent tree through collected artifacts to change the stats, allowing you to really customize the look of your character without having an effect on your abilities. I like that a lot more because you end up getting stuck with outfits with really great buffs but no cohesive aesthetic in the first game. Yeah, exactly. I want to be an emo child. As emo as possible with winged eyeline or all this crazy shit and then wreck house, you know? I don't want to look like a fucking flag for some shit I don't believe in. And wreck house, you know?

22:00 Exactly. That was exactly the point for it. Good. Coon reminds you that while you're leveling up, with great power comes great chicks and money. Hell yeah. The town of South Park is just as alive and bustling as it was in the last outing. With collectibles and Easter eggs galore. They focused on bringing in references to the more recent seasons of the show, such as Member Berries as well as Tweak and Craig yaoi artwork. What is yaoi artwork? So it's Tweak and Craig, the characters drawn as anime versions of themselves in love with each other. Oh, romantically? Romantically, yeah, because Tweak and Craig are a couple. I love them too.

22:42 These elements were introduced during a really important time period for the TV show. As South Park had just begun experimenting in serialized storytelling. For the first 18 years, South Park was mostly episodic. Episodes were completely stand-alone and nothing that happened carried over to the next one. Which is why they killed Kenny so often in the beginning. It was their way of saying that nothing in a single episode matters, because in the next one, everything will be reset. In season 19, they began connecting each episode to the one before it, creating a full-season arc where actions have consequences and changes were permanent. Because that's what happens after your 18th year.

23:22 Right. Your actions have consequences. Oh my God, you're absolutely right. It was different from their mini-arcs like Imagination Land or Cartoon Wars, which were more like movies split over three episodes. They continued experimenting with serialization over a couple seasons to mixed results and reactions. I think they've settled on a healthy middle ground as they have allowed changes to remain constant while maintaining the episodic nature of previous seasons. I say all this because Fractured But Whole was made during this experimentation period, and it reflects those decisions in the cast of characters, as well as the locations as this game adds Soda Sopa and Shittypott Town. Hell yeah. Which are areas of South Park introduced during these major storylines from some of those season-long arcs.

24:06 And having lived in Denver during their season-long arc. Oh yeah. Turning Shittypott Town into Soda Sopa. What is it? Soda Sopa? Soda Sopa. Yucky Sopa, that shit. It hits, man. It fucking hits. It's very accurate as Matt Stone does live in Denver for the rest of the year. So you start to notice some parallels between South Park and Denver. So he comes to LA, he does his fucking season of South Park, he signs his fucking checks, and then he's just like, I'm out, I'm going back to Larimer. Yeah, I'm going back to Aurora. He's got reservations at the Cherry Creek Mall tonight, he's going to go like, I see you. I think it keeps them humble though, that they're like, fuck it, we're out of here.

24:48 That's true. Yeah, definitely. Another new location they introduce is Raisins. It's a take on the restaurant Hooters, where all the service staff are so young, they have yet to develop their Hooters. If you need the joke explained to you, you're probably about the age of the people who work there. I hate this. It's so good. Coon tells you that Mosquito went to Raisins looking for the lost cat, but he hasn't reported back in a long time. He orders you to go find out what happened to him, but be careful not to be tempted by their hot employees. He may not have found the cat, but he sure found some pussy. Oh my God. It's right there.

25:31 As you are seated, you see Mosquito has fallen to the siren's call, as two Raisin's employees are flirting with him as he houses plate after plate of buffalo wings. He's bullshitting about his heroic endeavors until the bill arrives. Suddenly, he remembers the mission, and their spell is broken, asking you to join him in a battle against the sexualization of children disguised as greedy capitalism. Isn't that the battle we all face? Right. In reality, he's just scared because his parents are definitely going to be pissed at how much he spent at a fourth-grade strip club. You defeat the Raisin's girls and help Mosquito escape the restaurant without paying.

26:12 Real superhero work. Hell yeah. Mosquito tells you that he is indebted to you and agrees to help you when you are in battle, which is a core mechanic of this game, collecting allies to assist you. The first game let you team up with one other partner at a time, while this one lets you have three others in battle with you. I remember having very long conversations with you about stacking our teams correctly, of like, well, we need this healer and this guy's range attack is fantastic. The South Park meta. You never thought you'd get into that, right? Fully. We've had real ass conversations about it. While exploring the town, you go by the school where Mr. Mackie, the school counselor, wants to talk to you. He hears that there were some issues recently regarding you and your gender identity.

26:55 He heard that it's possible some of the kids may have been misgendering you, and wants to make sure the school has all of your info straight. Or gay, if that's the case. Oh my god, Tom. Here he asks your full identity, male, female, non-binary, cis, or transgender. Reassuring you the whole way through that whatever you choose is perfectly fine and normal, and will stay between the two of you, okay? When you inform him of it all, he says, that's great. Just give me a moment. And then he picks up the phone to inform your parents of everything you just told him. Oh my God. No, you're in Colorado, not Florida. What the? God damn it. But your parents are chill as fuck no matter what. Hell yeah. And tell Mr. Mackey that they already knew that, and it was none of Mr.

27:36 Mackey's fucking business. Absurd fucking lutely. And it's not anyone else's goddamn business blanket statement. Do what you want, fuck who you want. I'll get off my soap box now. Well, even if you say, for example, you're a cisgender male, he still calls and reports you to your parents, asking if they ever let you explore other options. Did you ever get that call growing up as a cisgender male? No, I never did. The school never called him and I guess what? It's a he. Right. Well, I went to Catholic school. We didn't get that option. Oh, fair enough. Jesus Christ. Well, this is South Park. So again, they're just being casually woke as fuck. When you exit the school, a pickup truck full of drunk rednecks pulled up to the school, pointing at you threateningly saying, it's one of them whatever combo you chose.

28:20 It's one of them cisgender males. Yeah. Well, if you do that, honestly, they still hate you. They hate every version of whoever walks out of that school. Just haters to be haters. Yeah. Which honestly is how South Park gets away with everything. Nobody is safe from their ridicule. They're equal opportunity offenders. Yeah. If everyone's a target, then nobody is. Yeah. Remember how integral George Clooney was to making South Park a viral hit? Yeah. They went on to make an episode about him smelling his own farts for being such a smug bastard. He did do that. I remember that. As well as killed the shit out of him and Team America World Police. They don't give a fuck about anyone.

29:02 Hell yeah. Speaking of targets, one of the locations you can visit is the local Catholic Church. In South Park canon, the Catholic Church is ruled by the Queen Spider, an intergalactic creature that oversees the Catholic Church on every planet throughout the universe. Is that just South Park or is that also in the real world? Oh, that's also in the real world. This is all true. Got it. Part of the Queen Spider's rulings involve the requirement that Catholic priests are inappropriate with children. South Park's local priest, Father Maxie, is not part of that sect and has 100% rejected any and all teachings of the Queen Spider.

29:42 Good for him. However, he does accidentally put you into contact with a couple of priests who do follow the Queen Spider. And after you defeat those perverts, Father Maxie gives you your first summon as an apology. In Stick of Truth, we could summon Jesus. That's right. In this one, we summon Moses. Moses in South Park is portrayed as a character we've seen once before this season. The master control program from the movie series Tron. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do we have to watch god damn Tron? I don't want to. I don't want to watch fucking Tron. I don't like Tron. No. Why does everyone love Tron? Well, fortunately, Moses is on your side, unlike the MCP.

30:26 Don't do that. Remaining on the topic of God, the Coon tells you to go to Freeman's Tacos, where you'll receive your next assignment. Freeman's Tacos is operated by God himself. Morgan Freeman. Ah, yes. He teaches you how to craft items, your first being something nobody has ever created before. And he loves to teach things because every time he teaches a lesson, he gains a freckle. Exactly. You combine an enchilada with a burrito, giving you an enchirito. I bring this up because a man named Mark lost his life in the first game by asking if the new Taco Bell was going to be offering enchiritos.

31:08 And then he gets shot down by agents, right? Shit, yeah. Coon tells you to bring your creation to the Coon layer, revealing that your mission was to go get him lunch. As a thank you, he tells you that your superhero persona sucks and that you need to work on it some more. He lets you choose a second fighting class, opening you up to more abilities and attacks. After another tragic backstory tutorial that ends in you witnessing the worst thing Cartman can imagine. Seeing your dad fuck your mom. Your parents love to fuck each other. Here's the thing, like... He's only describing the same night over and over again.

31:49 I know, but we see them fuck so much. It's a core part of their relationship. Yeah. An alarm begins to blare inside Coon and Friends' headquarters. The Freedom Pals are fighting members of Coon and Friends on Main Street. You and the Coon run to join the tussle. Coon takes off quickly down the street, and you have to catch up to him. When you do, he says, Oh my god, escort missions are the worst. Why can't you just go the same speed as me? Bitch! That's what I'm fucking saying. Also, stop standing in front of doorways. Yeah, right. What the fuck? But I love that it was Coon was on the escort mission and that you're the slow one. Yeah.

32:30 On Main Street, you find four members of each superhero squad squaring off with each other. Super Craig is yelling at Wonder Tweek, as the two of them had agreed to always remain a duo. With Wonder Tweek is Dr. Timothy, which is Timmy doing his best Professor Xavier impression from his wheelchair. I lowkey love this for him a lot. Oh, right. It's such a great character because he was originally something called Iron Maiden and he was just all in metal. Yeah, it's just a box. Tupperware, Tolkien Black's hero form where he wears a plastic food container as a helmet. As well as the boy who co-started the whole superhero trend in South Park to begin with, Kenny McCormick's Mysterion. Mysterion having debuted with The Coon in South Park's 13th season.

33:13 Everyone else's hero characters were introduced during The Coon and Friends mini-arc the following year. The fight they're having is over the movie rights to their characters. They each mapped out their characters' respective film franchises, a la the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The argument is over the order the movie should come out, with everyone thinking their character is the most important to the franchise. Dr. Timothy telepathically tells The Coon that deep down, he knows that Coon and Friends are a bunch of douchebags and don't deserve their own franchise. I love this for Timmy because he's otherwise an I Am Groot style character being able to say one word. His name. But with telepathy, he has a robust and articulate vocabulary, allowing him to be one of the smartest characters in the group.

33:58 And he's fucking over everyone. Yeah, right? He hates them all. If you weren't aware, South Park has been praised by multiple disability advocacy groups for their honest and positive portrayal of people with different afflictions throughout its entire run. From Asperger's to Tourette's, South Park educates as much as it jokes. I don't think we say Asperger's anymore. Well, they did when they made the episode. Okay, fine. Dr. Timothy teleports to the other end of the street, and Coon chases after him, telling the rest of you to stay back and fight the other members of Freedom Pals. After their defeat, you catch up to the Coon, who says that Dr. Timothy completely raped his mind.

34:41 Spoilers for Deadpool Wolverine. He tried to fight back, but Dr. Timothy's powers were too strong and he got away. But during their encounter, the Coon was able to steal his cell phone, so they take it back to base to see if it contains any information on the missing cat. As both groups need the reward money of $100 to start their respective film franchise. The whole franchise thing being one of the plot points left unresolved from the show. Super Craig hacks into Dr. Timothy's phone and discovers information about a mysterious girl with a dick tattoo who has information on all the criminal activity in South Park. I think I know a couple of girls with dick tattoos.

35:22 I think there's more than one. Yeah, but no, just in my friend group, like in my Instagram DMs, I think those bitches are hanging out right now. She also knows about the string of catnappings that seem to be occurring all over town as scrambles is not the only missing cat. Human Kite tells you that being a silent protagonist isn't really useful and that you really need to start speaking up more. Okay, first of all, my boyfriend. 27-year-old Dr. Gordon Freeman made it cool. Fuck you. Coon tells him to shut his kite mouth. Oh my God. He doesn't understand. The Coon tells you it's time the others find out about your tragic backstory. He tells them all how at the tender age of six years old, you walked in on your dad fucking your mom, like some kind of monster.

36:11 Like a monster. More like the beast with two backs. Human Kite yells at Coon, saying, everyone's dad fucked their mom at some point. That's literally where people come from. Yeah. Coon tells Human Kite to stop trying to steal someone else's backstory, okay? Mosquito tells everyone to shut up. It's almost sundown, so everyone needs to go home to prepare for their night missions. You stay behind with Coon for a moment while the others take off. Coon apologizes for the bigotry Human Kite just displayed. Saying, even among superheroes, there are those who will never understand the horror of finding your dad fucking your mom. Garmin just wants a dad.

36:52 Just so badly. But he fed him to a kid. Anyway, you head home to find mom and dad fighting once again. Dad's upset with mom for answering the phone when the guidance counselor called, saying she shouldn't have involved him in their child's gender identity problems. She calls him a pothead. He calls her a drunk. Then they both realize you're home and become completely different people, welcoming you and asking how your day was, champ. They each go their separate ways, with mom telling you dinner is on the table, which you eat very sadly alone. I love that they're just that couple that shares a Facebook account, and are just screaming at each other, and then fucking like rabbits.

37:34 They're the worst people on earth, and we all know exactly who they are. As you tuck yourself into bed, mom comes by deep into her third bottle of Chardonnay, saying that whatever happens, she always loved you. Oh my god. Ben closes the door behind her. Night falls on South Park, as the Coon narrates the scene. It's a full moon, which brings out the creeps, but it also brings out the Coon and Friends. Coon has a mission for you, and he teams you up with a member of Coon and Friends you have yet to meet, Scott Malkinson's Captain Diabetes. I love him and his list so much.

38:17 Yeah, I love Scott Malkinson. They don't use him nearly enough. No, they really need to pull him out of the tool shed. Yeah. No, tool shed is Stan. God damn it, Tom. Well, I stan him. He has a lead on the girl with a dick tattoo, and tells you to come along. As you follow behind, you pass by the Marsh residence, where you see Randy, drunk as a motherfucker, keying the shit out of his wife's car. And just her car, too. He leaves his car alone. He says he's going to pick up some more beer, but Captain Diabetes steals his keys, saying he can't drive drunk, which makes Randy attack. After the battle, the two of you head into downtown South Park so you can check out the Peppermint Hippo, a strip club where the girl with a dick tattoo works.

39:04 And a real strip club about like a mile off of the strip in Las Vegas? Yeah, there is one now. Downtown is a very different place at night. The adults are debaucherous. Drunk people litter the streets. There are beer bottles and trash fucking everywhere. The only reason is because there's a cover band in town. There's so fucking little to do in South Park, Colorado that anytime anything happens, the town goes ballistic. That's true. Here's the thing. Both Andrea and I thought this portrayal was an exaggeration when we played it the first time.

39:45 Oh, that's because we played it in LA. Then we moved to downtown Denver. And then we moved to downtown fucking Denver. I'm not even remotely kidding when I say this game downplays just how gross downtown Denver is at night between Thursday and Saturday night. Absolutely fucking lutely. During the day, it's just people in puffy vests walking their fucking golden retrievers talking about where they're going to hike that weekend. After the sun goes down. Oh my God. The floors are sticky. I don't know where or how that happened. It is goddamn disgusting. If you're from Denver and you're thinking, oh, come on, it's not that bad.

40:25 We lived at 21st and Markit, which I'm sure just made you go, oh yeah, that is pretty bad. If you're wondering what that means, we lived a block away from Coors Stadium. Oh God. Where the Rockies play. So we were downtown, downtown, like not fucking around. We are in the middle of it and my favorite game to play was to go out at 11 PM and count, not just seek out, but count the breakups. Oh my God. The amount of times I've heard, Lauren, go fuck yourself, is easily in the dozens and I'm not exaggerating. Holy shit. It's the best fucking game. And then you realize the streets are littered in Coors cans.

41:07 Yeah. Well, anyway, at the Peppermint Hippo, you are blocked by security as you are under 21 years old. Captain Diabetes chugs a bottle of apple juice, sending him into a diabetic rage and giving him immense strength. Is that how diabetes works? I don't think so. He topples a payphone up against a wall so you can sneak in through a window. Also, did I really just say payphone? You're showing your age. The game is. True. Inside, you split up to look for the girl with a dick tattoo, but to no avail. Captain Diabetes comes up with the idea to find the drunkest guys in there and take them to the champagne room for a private dance.

41:49 They're so drunk, they don't realize you're a couple of kids, or maybe they do and just don't care. Captain Diabetes gives one a lap dance fully clothed and asks if they've ever gotten a dance from a girl with a dick tattoo before, but they refuse to answer until the cute one starts dancing too, meaning you, which takes you into a lap dance minigame. The goal of the game is to grind on the man's junk while farting up a storm so that he makes you stop dancing. I've never been to a strip club, but I do imagine that's exactly what happens in them. That's exactly what happens at them. I knew it. Now that you've danced, they tell you that the girl with a dick tattoo is named Classy.

42:31 That's Classy with an I and a little dick that hangs off the C, which fucks the L out of the A-S-S. Yeah, it does. You head back into the main club to look for Classy. That's when you notice the DJ calling the next dancer to the stage. Captain Diabetes suggests distracting the DJ so he can call out Classy's name to make her come out. Since we're already crossing every fucking line imaginable, you roofie a drink with one of your farts and bring it to the DJ. I love this name so goddamn much. He immediately gets sick and runs off, so Captain Diabetes takes over and calls Classy to the main stage. She comes running out like, what the fuck, I'm not supposed to go on yet.

43:14 Looking at the two of you, she assumes you're undercover cops and she takes off running. You do have like a 21 Jump Street vibe, but like I guess in reverse. Right. 12 Jump Street? In the dressing room, Classy attempts to stop you by enlisting the help of other strippers. The DJ then narrates the fight from the bathroom while he recovers from the fartini you just served him. Fartini! You fight your way through the strippers trying to get to Classy. I remember this being a kick in the fucking shins battle. Yeah, this is a hard one. Yeah, the strippers made it real hard. You fight your way through the strippers trying to get to Classy and just as you catch up to her, she calls on her secret weapon, the peppermint rhino's resident rhino size stripper, the queen of Quiffies herself, spontaneous bootay.

44:04 Quiffies. Quiffies. It's a fantastic boss fight where you're chasing after one character while being chased by another. It's in these moments where you realize just how elevated the combat has become in the series and it absolutely shines here. It truly does, but I also remember fucking it up a lot and being like, god damn it, why aren't I better at this? Right, but it's not just good for a South Park game, it's good for a video game. Facts. You escape Boutay chasing Classy out the back door of the strip club. She runs across the alley to the restaurant next door, pounding on the door saying the cops are here. A man lets her in and pulls a gun on you when you approach.

44:45 He says he's not afraid to use the gun and demonstrates this fact by firing it in the air. Jesus. Suddenly, the restaurant's neon sign falls from above, pan-kicking his body beneath it. You love instant karma, don't you? Right. The carnage is blocking the door now, so Captain Diabetes goes into another apple juice rage to move it. He's going to lose a foot by the third game. Even with increased strength, it's still too heavy. Captain Diabetes goes to give himself an insulin shot to balance the sugar rush, only to find out he's out of insulin. And those shits are expensive? His body goes into shock, seizing up, and Captain Diabetes falls over dead. Oh, shit!

45:27 A vision of God appears. Sorry, Morgan Freeman. You said God, I get it. He reminds you that you never gave the Coon that Enchirito, suggesting you eat it. The resulting fart is so powerful, it rewinds time to just before the man shot the gun. Just like Max in Life is Strange. He looks around freaked out, wondering how he's alive again, and runs inside terrified, having just repatriated. Captain Diabetes is also wondering what just happened, as he remembers going into shock and seeing a bright white light.

46:09 Then he was here. Oh well, you still need to find the stripper with the dick tattoo. Is he Buffy? Like, I was in heaven. You guys pulled me out of heaven. You call into the Coon to let him know where Classy is, and he sends all available friends to the restaurant to help you. It's a busy night with most of the tables full. Each guest housing bottles of wine while judging their friends and family for their own vices behind their backs. You don't find Classy, but you do run into the Coon with Human Kite and Mosquito sitting at a table having just ordered dinner. Coon says that they have the front of house covered telling you to go into the kitchen to see if you can find her. You go through the kitchen where you kill all the employees doing their job, but still no sign of Classy.

46:53 You find a back room and open the door, revealing a room full of cats and cages. Captain Diabetes calls it in to the Coon, who asks if Scrambles is one of them. Unfortunately, he's not. Then he asks if you found Classy, and Captain Diabetes says, no. So Coon's like, then why the fuck are you calling me? There's another back room door in this one, so you walk through it to find four Italian mobsters playing poker at a table with Classy standing nearby. Classy goes, see, the cops are chasing me. One of the gangsters stands up, pointing and goes, that's no cop. That's Captain Diabetes.

47:37 That lore has made it. Fuck yeah, Captain Diabetes. They decide that since Captain Diabetes and his sidekick aren't cops, then that means they can shoot them. Oh shit. Then they'll shoot Classy too for having led them here. The gangster cocks his gun, saying goodbye to Captain Diabetes. When the door gets kicked in, with wine glass in hand and pants around his ankles, a beaten bloody belligerent buffoon of a binge drinker, Randy Marsh comes in screaming, give me back my fucking keys. Fuck yeah, you ate that shit. He beats up the guy holding the gun, and the others try to run away, saying he's red wine drunk, the worst drunk there is.

48:23 That's a fact. Randy absolutely thrashes them all, then turns on Captain Diabetes, demanding he turn over the fucking keys. After you kick his ass, he finally agrees to take a cab home. I love that he walked this far to get his car keys. My guy, you're mobile. Just grab the fucking beer while you're out. Yeah, you've definitely passed a liquor store. It's South Park. Classy is impressed and scared of you all, so she agrees to give you information. There's a big time kingpin attempting to bring together the Italian gangs and the Chinese gangs in South Park so we can introduce a new drug onto the street.

49:04 The Coon's like, Cool. Have you seen Scrambles? Next thing you know, all of Coon and Friends are back at headquarters, with Classy describing all the ins and outs of the new crime syndicate. Again, Coon interrupts her and asks about the missing cat. She's like, Oh, that's the Chinese gang, Yaqui, Baba or some shit. They're paying sixth graders to steal cats, which Classy thinks is fucked up. No pussy deserves to get stolen. Do you know what I am saying? Just as she's about to reveal the plan for the cats, Mrs. Cartman comes storming into headquarters, saying that it's the middle of the night and everyone needs to go home right now or she's calling the parents. Classy says that Coon and Friends offered her protection and she's not going anywhere.

49:48 Coon tells Fastpass to take her with him and to keep her safe. So, crutch-bound Jimmy Vollmer lifts her into the air and zips out of the house at lightning speed. I love that he's Fastpass and is just zipping all over the place. Like, there's nothing satisfying about it. Right, it's so good. The next day, the morning news show Good Morning South Park airs, describing the events of the night before, declaring that a new vigilante crime fighter has taken down the Famboni crime family, as declared by South Park's number one news correspondent, a midget in a bikini outside Bucca da Fagaccini. Again, these are not Tom's words. He's just reciting what happened in the game. Is this why people think South Park isn't woke?

50:31 Because I think I just committed a couple hate crimes simply describing what happened. You absolutely did, which is why I want to make it clear. Just reiterating the story. It could be worse. I could be quoting Classy who says the n-word every other sentence. Please don't do that, Tom. No, no, no, no. Please don't do that. The reporter interviews the townsfolk about the new hero. Some saying they feel comforted knowing he was here. Others saying he stinks and they don't like him. Guy with two hands sounds hot. One question remains though, who is the farting vigilante? The chief of police was watching the newscast and turns off the TV.

51:11 He turns to the Italian mobsters you faced the night before, telling them they really fucked up the plan. The Italians were just supposed to move the drugs through South Park. The Chinese and Russians were going to do the rest. Nobody can know that the police are secretly spiking drugs and alcohol to cause the citizens to commit more crimes. The chief walks over to a cat that is tied up to a little wooden structure. He holds a jar over the cat's rear end, and the cat sprays territory marker into the jar. This is called cheese in South Park lore. In one of the most iconic episodes of the series, titled Major Boobage, it's discovered that if you allow a cat to spray you in the face with its territory marking piss, it will make you trip fucking balls.

51:57 I don't believe that works in real life. Please do not do this. Do not try this at home. So the plan is to spread this cheese all over South Park and make people lose control. Later that day, after school, you and your friends change back into your superhero uniforms and continue your investigation into the missing cats. Classy won't speak with anyone because she doesn't have her meds with her. She tells you to go fetch quest her meds, then she'll talk. While out on the quest, you get cornered by a group of Raisin's employees. They're mad at you for helping Mosquito run out on his bill. They have their own version of spontaneous bouté, a tween version essentially, but mid-fight, they all stop saying there's something wrong.

52:40 Their social media accounts are all getting trolled. The large one's saying they just lost a thousand subscribers, with another one saying her relationship status just changed to dating Eric Cartman. They all run off screaming, leaving you alone in an alley. From above, a girl with black hair, wearing a pink mask and covered in strapped on smartphones drops down greeting you. It's Wendy Testerberger in her own superheroine persona. She tells you not to worry. She has bots completely wrecking their socials, and it will take a long time for them to figure out what's going on. She says that the kingpin crime boss is running for local office, and that you taking down the Italian crime family shook him to his core.

53:24 She's tracking all of his known associates via Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, even LinkedIn. She tells you that if you ever need help, you can rely on her. Call Girl. Okay, so there's the one you said, was there? Not super appropriate for a child. No, not at all. That's right. She's a badass, though. Like, she is very meta-heavy. Oh, fully. She's a great character, but the fact that she calls herself Call Girl is too good. She doesn't know. Then she climbs back to the rooftops, telling you to be careful out there. Responding to a call from Human Kite, he's having some issues with his imposter once again. Human Kite 2 is in the backyard being annoying, and Human Kite asks you to do something about him since he can't.

54:08 Human Kite 2 uses his special attack, Cry for Aunt Sheila, and she joins him in battle by his side. To the tune of her theme song, you fight the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. Hell yeah. Despite her son pleading with her to stop fighting his friends, you defeat the mean old bitch with the big stupid hair. After the fight, she tells you that she's calling the police and will be pressing charges for assaulting her in her home. Human Kite stops her saying that he will let his cousin play too if she promises not to call the police. She agrees, taking Human Kite 2 inside to treat his scrapes with some back team. As a thank you, Human Kite teaches you a team up move that allows the two of you to combine your fart with his kite to reach elevated platforms.

54:52 Calling it Fart Core. In order to get Classy's medication, you need to go to the local medical dispensary. After some puzzle-solving that involves Morgan Freeman giving you the ability to stop time, you make your way past the standard dispensary security lasers. Inside is everyone's favorite local stoner, Towley, the expert budtender. Except he's no longer a stoner. He's a year sober, and now he gets high by helping others with their problems. This is the most annoying person on earth. Turns out, he had been high for so long, he had forgotten he had a wife and kid the whole time. So he's been having a nice time getting to know them.

55:35 It just so happens, having a wife and kid is expensive, so he took this job to cover the bills. Coon says, you're here to pick up an order for Classy. Towley asks, Classy with a Y with a clit hanging off it coming around and licking the shit out of the sea? Coon says, no, no, no, no. Classy with an I and a dick hanging off it that's fucking the L out of the ASS. Common misunderstanding. Yeah. Towley's like, oh, that Classy. Then he starts putting the order together. But he starts to freak out, as someone has mixed strains together in the same jar. Okay, that is a social faux pas. You do not do that. Putting Indica and Sativa together?

56:16 People don't want to mix up their mellow with their chill. They don't. Tauley loses it, saying that his back hurts, he can't sleep, he has no appetite, this town is getting more and more expensive, the only weed he can afford at wholesale, he has to buy from fucking sixth graders, and Freeman knows what they're putting into it. Sober Tauley can't take the pressure anymore and fights you, having no other way to relieve his built up stress. He calls on the help of the other dispensary employees, and this made me really upset. For some fucking reason, they both look like me.

56:57 You know what? Give you one guess. I guess I'm just a fucking stereotype, okay? Yeah, Tom, you walk into any dispensary in Colorado as a whole. Guess what you're gonna find? Your brother in, Tom. Speaking of stereotype, thanks for listening to our podcast. Be sure to like and subscribe. As you fight, some of the weed in the shop catches fire, causing Towley to get secondhand high. This calms him down, and he stops fighting you, giving you Classy's meds. Back at Fastpass's house, you give Classy her prescription. She takes a hit and tells you that cats are being taken to a storage facility called YouStoreIt.

57:39 On the way, you get a call from the school guidance counselor. He says that it turns out gender and sex are a bit more complicated and nuanced than he originally thought, and asks you to come visit him. He says that the principal told him he needs to get into more detail with you, as sexual orientation and gender identity have nothing to do with one another. So he asks you a series of questions to see how you align in that sense, giving you every option from asexual to pansexual. Once again, regardless of how you identify, a truck full of rednecks pull up to fight the whatever sexual you are. Now that you're required to let HumanKite2 play with you, from time to time, during a fight, he'll show up uninvited, just to fall flat on his face and quit without ever accomplishing.

58:26 After the fight, a cop car drives by. The officer driving says that he heard that you were the farting vigilante the news was talking about. He tells you that the chief wants to see you down at the station, so you head there to find out why. The chief tells you about the kingpin and gives you an address, saying he'll send some of his best men along with you to stop him. That's not comforting. Take out the drug kingpin and they'll give you a junior detective badge. You break into the house of the kingpin, where you confront a very normal-looking black man cooking dinner for himself. He doesn't know who you are or why you're in his house, but you make quick work of him so the police can arrest him. Outside the police station, you run into Super Craig.

59:08 If you want to break into U-Store it, he'll need his laptop to bypass security. His issue is that his ex-boyfriend Wonder Tweak still has it. You play middle man between the exes, exchanging belongings between the two to get the laptop back. That's just so annoying. After you get the computer, Tweak's dad stops you to thank you for doing everything you can to get the two boys back together. Tweak being gay has been really good for the family business, so he really appreciates it. For Tweak brother's coffee? That's so good. He wrote a note he wants you to deliver to Craig, pretending it's from Tweak. In it, he asks for couple's counseling, to which Craig agrees, as long as you go too as his emotional support.

59:54 Tweak also agrees, saying he wants you there too, since Craig seems to think most clearly when you're around. The police chief calls again, saying that the last guy you took down wasn't actually the kingpin, and instead was just a low-level street thug. The real kingpin lives in a mansion. He gives you the new address and sends you after him. After bypassing security, you break into the kingpin's mansion. You find him in his home office, working out on an elliptical machine. He's an early to mid-50s black man in a jumpsuit, and he wonders just who the fuck you are and how you got into his house. Yeah. You beat him up and the police arrive to arrest him. Back at Coon and Friends headquarters, they're arguing over the order of the franchise films and whether Super Craig should get introduced in the second Coon and Friends movie instead of his own film.

1:00:43 Coon argues that that would be very DC of them, so absolutely not. The Coon asks the others to leave so he can have a private word with you. He tells you that today is a special day. They have decided that you will be getting your own Netflix series after the Fastpass mini series airs. But in order to be ready for your own show, you'll need more powers. So he sets you up with a third class of fighter, allowing you to obtain even more super moves. Hell, yeah. As well as make a slight adjustment to the tragic backstory of discovering your dad fucking your mom. This time, an alien takes you to your parents' room, where you see your dad fucking your mom.

1:01:27 Devastating. After the meeting, Coon and Friends receives an invitation. It's from The Freedom Pals, asking to meet on the playground. When you arrive with the Coon in tow, Stan Marsh appears, wielding a power drill dressed as the mighty Toolshed. Hell yeah. He says that he knows you were the one to take his dad's keys last night, and he just wanted to thank you. He didn't expect that from somebody in Coon and Friends. Coon laughs, making fun of Toolshed for belonging to a second tier superhero franchise led by a guy in a wheelchair. Dr. Timothy's voice fills the air saying, at least he's not a fat little phone stealer. Dr. Timothy arrives on the scene with Tupperware and Mysterion.

1:02:09 Words of aggression are exchanged between the two groups of superheroes, culminating in the Coon yelling, Civil War 2, bitches, let's fucking go. Yeah! After their defeat, Toolshed says that the only reason Coon and Friends won was because of The New Kid, saying he still owes you one for saving his dad. Coon laughs at Toolshed as he leaves, telling him to have fun letting Zack Snyder fuck their whole franchise up. Back at headquarters, the Coon reveals the plan to infiltrate You Store It later that night. Mosquito wonders how the entire facility is surrounded by Lego lava. Human Kite says that one of Toolshed's powers is the ability to clear lava, and he just told you he owes you a favor.

1:02:52 So you decide to cash in that favor to get past the lava bricks. The Coon dismisses the team, telling them to get plenty of rest before the heist night. Back at home, mom and dad are fighting again. Dad says finding out more about your gender, your sexual orientation, hell, even your race could be disastrous. Finding out about your race could be disastrous is crazy. Then they see you and completely flip the switch. This time a little less completely as they do that thing parents do where they pretend everything is just fine and there's nothing to worry about. Now head to the dining room to eat dinner alone and go to bed, which you do. The Coon narrates, saying, night falls upon the town like a fat, slimy turd.

1:03:37 Only one team knows how to deal with fat turds, Coon and Friends, hashtag fuck freedom pals. He says hashtag out loud. Oh yeah. Outside your house, tool shed is waiting for you. On the way, he tells you his tragic backstory. He and his father were working in the garage when a lightning bolt struck the workbench, fusing the power tools to tool shed's body, but leaving his father mentally destroyed. Cue Randy Marsh keying his wife's car, drunk as a skunk once again. Fuck yeah, Randy. Sharon Marsh opens a window from the house and tells him to stop keying her fucking car and to come back inside.

1:04:18 So he does without question. He rarely listens to her, so that's actually impressive. Yeah, right? Maybe it's because he's so fucking shit-housed, but good for you, buddy. Toolshed says that while his dad is usually pretty stupid, he's been getting a lot worse lately. At the storage facility, the rest of Coon and Friends are waiting, and Toolshed says he only promised to help you, not Coon and Friends. The others argue that you want the same thing they want. Helping you just happens to help them. So shut up and clear the lava, which he does using a nearby air compressor he plugs into. Once clear, you head inside the U-Storit facility. As you cross the threshold, Christmas lights spring to life, and a giant TV turns on.

1:05:04 Filling the screen is one of South Park's most notorious supervillains, the tinfoil-topped titan of terror, Professor Chaos. Now, I'm going to pause here for just a moment to apologize. I kind of lied by omission a little earlier regarding two South Park facts, and for that I'm sorry. The first one being that in season 19, South Park experimented with serialization. I implied that this was the first time they had done this outside of Mini-Arcs. But that's not true. The first time they tried it was in season 6, to great success. Season 6, like the previous five before it, saw the death of Kenny McCormick.

1:05:50 The difference this time, he stayed dead. The season arc spent most of the episodes dealing with the death of Kenny in one way or another. One of those B stories saw the boys attempt to replace Kenny with a new best friend, semi-introducing audiences to the character of Butters Stotch. Butters had been around since the premiere of South Park, but had never really been given any development until the search for a new friend occurred. When Butters didn't receive a callback for his audition to the friend group, it set him down a dark path. This led to the other lie I told. Butters is the true originator of the super personas in the South Park canon, not the Coon and Mysterion.

1:06:37 Because Season 6, Episode 6, was titled Professor Chaos. Introducing his super villain alter ego to the world. Over the next few seasons, Butters would occasionally bring Professor Chaos out to try and mess with the social order of things, often foiled by his own incompetence or talked out of it by his sidekick General Disarray, who reminds him that the Simpsons have already pulled off most of his ideas. Kenny returned from the dead the following season, the show resumed its episodic nature, and Butters joined the regular ensemble from there out, forever solidifying him as one of the core cast members, despite being rejected by the friend group initially.

1:07:20 It's honestly hard to imagine South Park without Butters. He's become such a central character. He's fan-fucking-tastic. When the other kids started playing superheroes, he remained based as fuck and chose to continue being the supervillain he already was. You know, he's one of the few that's been a sex trafficker. He really stayed in his lane and was like, I'm the bad guy. Giving him tons of experience over all of them, which has allowed him to build such an incredible fortress here in the U-Storit facility, where General Disarray's grandma has an old storage locker she lets them use as their secret base. Professor Chaos says that he had been given $20,000 to stop anyone from breaking into U-Storit, but he only needed a couple hundred for the first wave of his army of minions.

1:08:11 Dozens of hamsters in hamster balls wearing adorable tiny tin foil helmets. He unleashes them on you, but they're pretty useless as they're hamsters in hamster balls. With the help of your friends, you maneuver your way through Professor Chaos' obstacles and challenges, making it to his secret lair. The Coon keeps trying to reason with Chaos, saying that if he was given $20,000, then it belongs to the whole group as Professor Chaos falls under the Coon and Friends franchise. Chaos says it's too late. He already spent it on more minions and an endless supply of lava.

1:08:51 Oh, yeah. Of course, the kid would spend $20,000 on Legos. A bunch of storage units open as tinfoil armored children, dogs, and even a grip of Hispanic adults he picked up down at Home Depot emerge on the scene to attack you. After the battle, Call Girl shows up, telling you that you're too focused on Professor Chaos, when you should be worried about the crime syndicate. The Coon sees Call Girl and goes, Who the fuck is that? Toolshed doesn't even know. They all wonder whose franchise she belongs to. Coon decides that she's not a part of any of the franchises and tells everyone to ignore her.

1:09:32 We're not playing with her. She says to check Unit 56D and tells you to call her to battle whenever you need help. Making this, the first time one of the girl characters from South Park can join your team in the game series. Yay, and again, OP as fuck. Oh right, she's great. Her ultimate move being called Phone Destroyer, a reference to the South Park mobile game of the same name. Phone Destroyer. In Unit 56D, you encounter Professor Chaos's lead henchman, General Disarray, whose real name is Dougie O'Connell. He's two years younger than everyone else and is another character who has been around for a long time, debuting in season three.

1:10:15 But they never really figured out what to do with him until they decided to turn him into General Disarray. And he's been kind of stuck as that character ever since. It's a great character, at least. After his defeat, he triggers a flood of lava, leaving Super Craig trapped in a circle of it, with the lava quickly filling in around him. He gives up pretty much immediately, saying he always knew it would come to this and begins saying his goodbyes. I knew I'd always die in a bunch of Lego. Toolshed says he can't get rid of the lava, as his power requires an air compressor, and there isn't one nearby. So you shove the compressor hose up your ass and fart the lava away with Toolshed's help.

1:10:56 Naturally. Super Craig gets knocked back by the blast, and Coon runs over to help him. He pulls out a hypodermic needle and shoves it into Super Craig. Oh my god. Yeah, I don't remember this shit happening at all. Pressing down on the plunger, saying it's an intracardiac injection, Super Craig jumps up all, what the fuck, dude, that could kill me. Yeah, that's that shit from Pulp Fiction. Everyone jumps down Coon's throat, asking where the fuck he got something like that. Coon says to relax. He got it online. Oh, okay then. How else was he gonna stabilize Super Craig? Well, continuing through the storage facility, you eventually find a bunch of methhead-looking motherfuckers collecting cheese from a bunch of cats.

1:11:40 When they realize they've been found, they try to kill you because you've seen too much and the boss will be mad. You say some crazy shit on this show. Especially the South Park episodes. Since you're children, you never actually kill anyone, and when you defeat the methheads, you ask about their boss. They say they've already said too much and are dead now anyway, so they blow up their cheese lab with them still inside. Back outside the unit, you find Professor Chaos' minions loading dump trucks full of red Lego bricks. Chaos declaring through loudspeakers that the whole town will soon be trapped in doors, unable to leave wherever they are when the lava begins to flow.

1:12:21 You'll be powerless to stop it because he has built his ultimate weapon. You turn around to find Professor Chaos powering a 25-foot tall tinfoil mech made out of his migrant worker minions. Better known as Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme. I love butters more than anything. Being made of tinfoil and racist stereotypes, the Mecha dies quickly, leaving Chaos unconscious at your feet. Coon says he's going to lock him up in the holding cell back at base, and Chaos protests saying he needs to get home or else he's going to get grounded.

1:13:02 Again. But Coon tells him he should have thought of that before he tried to cover the town in lava. Now, if these kids were smart, they'd sell the LEGO bricks online because LEGO retains its value better than most precious metals. Facts. But knowing butters, he probably bought Mega Box instead. God damn it. As everyone heads back to headquarters, Human Kite and Toolshed have a moment together. Human Kite says it was great working with him again, and asks Toolshed to consider coming back to Coon and Friends, saying they're going to make a billion dollars. But Toolshed refuses, saying The Freedom Pals are going to make a zillion, and he heads home instead of joining you at headquarters.

1:13:42 Back in the basement, Professor Chaos is in his holding cell, while the others sit at the team conference table. They're trying to interrogate Chaos, asking who paid him the $20,000. But he doesn't know anything, just that whoever it was is trying to unite all the crime families in town. He doesn't have a face or a name, as he can change either with the same ease as the wind changing direction. The Coon hears this and becomes gravely concerned. He says that there's only one person in all of South Park who has that ability, Mitch Connor. That motherfucker. Everyone but Human Kite says, who the fuck is that?

1:14:24 Human Kite explains angrily that it's Cartman's dumbass hand puppet. The aggression he brings to this conversation. Again, Kyle has never liked Cartman. Yeah. Fully, full on Fronimies. The Coon says that it's more complicated than that. He has no control over Mitch Conner. Mitch Conner takes full ownership of his hand whenever he wants. And there's nothing the Coon can do about it. Human Kite is just steaming in a corner. Like, you motherfucker. Now, this is all a reference to a seventh season episode of South Park where Cartman's hand becomes possessed by Jennifer Lopez, which is later revealed to not be Jennifer Lopez, but rather someone named Mitch Conner posing as Jennifer Lopez.

1:15:16 It's an iconic episode. The Coon goes on to explain that while Mitch Conner was caught, he has recently escaped from prison and is on the loose once more. He's in these streets. Human Kite says, fuck this, I'm out and heads home to get some sleep. Just, I don't want any fucking part of this. Bye. The rest of you follow suit, confused about this turn of events. The next morning, we get another segment from Good Morning South Park. The Midget Reporter, this time in a fedora, reports about a meth lab explosion at the U-Storit facility on the outskirts of town, with everyone blaming the leader of Coon and Friends, the mysterious farting vigilante. The report is followed by more interviews with town folks, calling the farting vigilante both Messiah and Menace.

1:16:03 The police even issue a warrant for the arrest of the farting vigilante. As blowing up a meth lab is a serious crime. The police chief holds a press conference and warns the town that Coon and Friends are dangerous, breaking into people's homes and farting on them in their sleep. He says to arm yourselves and be ready in case Coon and Friends come knocking. Arm yourselves is crazy. I love that the crime is farting on you in your sleep. Yeah. After the press conference, the chief goes to his office alone and picks up the phone. On the other line is Mitch Conner. The right hand of evil. Left hand, actually. God damn it. Telling the chief to stop worrying about the vigilante.

1:16:45 Just to be clear, Mitch Conner is literally Cartman's left hand balled into a fist with a face drawn on it, as he uses his thumb as the lower jaw and speaks in his normal voice. I love that it says normal voice. At least when they were pretending to be J-Lo, it did do at least a feminine voice. It wasn't J-Lo. It was really just like, tacos! But having it just be Cartman's normal speaking voice, not even a semblance of let's make this slightly different is the funniest fucking thing. Just his normal voice. Mitch tells the chief to focus on getting the product into people's drugs and alcohol, and Mitch will take care of their little vigilante problem.

1:17:31 The chief asks about the mayor. Saying Mitch promised he'd get her out of office. But Mitch shuts him down, telling him to focus on the drugs and to stop worrying about everyone else, ending the call. Later that afternoon, school is out and you begin to head home to change into your costume. Wendy runs up to you through the crowd of students and loudly introduces herself to you. Once the two of you are alone, she leans in close and speaks in a hushed tone, saying that call girl wants to meet you in the park later today. The situation she told you about the crime syndicate is way worse than she initially thought. Walking away, she loudly declares, Well, it was nice meeting you.

1:18:12 Enjoy town, New Kid. Enjoy town is crazy, too. What the fuck? No one talks like that, Wendy. You are being bad at this. Don't be suspicious. Yeah. Once you meet up with call girl, she explains that in the middle of tracking social media posts, someone canceled her data plan without her knowledge or consent. This scared her, and she wants you to go to the D-Mobile store with her to figure out what happened. Upon your arrival, you discover that D-Mobile has been taken over by crab people. They are the crabs. They look like crabs, but act like mobile phone salespeople.

1:18:52 Call girl says that explains it. They change their terms of service to force her into a more expensive data plan. Deadass, I'm not getting paid to say this, but girl should really be on Mint Mobile. You have to defeat their manager, the king crab. When you do, the human D-Mobile employees are free, saying those things smelled like crab and kissed like people. They kissed like people. I want that to be the DLC. Fuck Castle Benita. As a reward for saving them, they offer to fix her phone and get her data plan restored. Thanking you, Call Girl reminds you that you can call her anytime you need help.

1:19:33 Back at headquarters, the Coon says, Freedom Pals have more information on everything going on in town, and that it looks like their franchise will be the one to get picked up by Netflix as a result. Woohoo. He proposes sending in a spy, someone the Freedom Pals don't know very well, who can pretend to be a turncoat and join their ranks. Professor Chaos reminds the group from his cage that he's still in from the night before, having missed school even, that Freedom Pals have security measures all around their base. The only way you can get past it all is with his help, as he is a master hacker. Reluctantly, the Coon lets Chaos out of the cell, and he joins you on your quest.

1:20:14 Classic hero-villain team-up. The Coon reminds you that if Professor Chaos tries anything funny, kill him. Kill him! He is the villain. Yeah, but holy shit. Professor Chaos leads you to the Freedom Pals' base, and it's in a home you've been to once before. Oh? It's in the home of the person you were told was the kingpin of the drug trade, the black man in his office on the elliptical. Professor Chaos explains that this is the home of Tolkien Black, aka Tupperware, the richest kid in town. After breaking into their basement headquarters, Chaos comments on how much nicer it is than the Coon and Friends base.

1:20:54 Coon's is pretty cool looking, but it's made by Eric Cartman, so it's all kind of shitty. It's all cardboard and shit, yeah. This base is clean and organized with a lot of real technology as opposed to Coon's pretend technology. Yeah, Coon has screens drawn on cardboard and is like, this is my home base. Yeah, and here they have screens. Just real screens, yeah. Suddenly, you find yourself surrounded by tool shed, wonder tweak, Tupperware and Mysterion. They immediately accuse you of being a spy. Reasonably. Here to find out about their top secret plans. Yeah. The voice of Dr. Timothy interrupts, telling everyone to calm down. Perhaps The New Kid's intentions are pure. Let's hear him out. Professor Chaos explains that you wanted to switch franchises and asked him for help.

1:21:38 So that's why you're both here, because Freedom Pals seem a lot more inclusive. Dr. Timothy tells the others that Chaos' tinfoil helmet is blocking his ability to read his mind. But nonetheless, he believes him. I'm sorry. The aluminum foiled me. That's good. Just to make sure, he sends you on a mission with Tupperware so you can prove your loyalty while Dr. Timothy works on his top secret plan. On your way to help Tupperware, Mr. Mackie calls you, saying that he's agreed to mediate some couples counseling with Tweek and Craig, asking you to come join them in the school gymnasium, okay? Counseling involves fighting a couple randomly generated school kids wearing shirts that say things like victimization and expectations, representing different issues that get in the way of relationship.

1:22:28 All of you realizing that the only way to get rid of expectations is to work together. Aww. Super Craig and Wonder Tweek finally overcome their issues by beating up a bunch of school kids together. I mean, I haven't done couples counseling. No. But I imagine it's exactly like this. Eventually taking each other's hand, ready to give their relationship another shot, thanking you for helping them come back together as a couple. After counseling, you meet up with Tupperware. Your mission is to do some community service at the local nursing home by performing a song for the elderly. But you are a silent protagonist, so your job is to play the instruments.

1:23:09 Except you don't know how to play any. You try a few out as the crowd heckles you, eventually landing on a flugelhorn. What is a flugelhorn? It's a bugle. Got it. You shove it up your ass. Oh, no. And using your fart powers, you become the boogie woogie bugle boy from Company Beehole. I think they do that in Tijuana in certain clubs. Oh, they absolutely do. One of the old men jump up going, it's that farting vigilante from the TV. He wants to take away all of our drugs. Because never forget, the largest group of pill-popping drug abusers are the elderly. They're also all registered to vote and do so in every single election, so please make sure you are as well, because otherwise, they will be making all the decisions for you.

1:23:53 This took a hard turn and I love it. Yeah, there's no joke here, that's just a fact. You're just spitting, yeah, go off. You fight alongside the other Freedom Pals to protect our democracy, and beat the Depends off the violent drug-addicted thugs who reside in the Shadyacres nursing home. That was so graphic to say. Dr. Timothy and Mysterion, thank you for your help defeating the Olds, and say that you have proven yourself. Mysterion has a lead that the Chief of Police is taking bribes, so he wants to investigate, inviting you to come along later that night. With this new information, the Coon tells you to come back to headquarters. He explains to the others that he intends to arrive at the police station earlier than Freedom Pals, so that he can obtain the information on the Chief of Police first, and get ahead of Freedom Pals in the search for Scramble's the Cat.

1:24:41 The others don't understand why, when they can just get the info from New Kid afterwards, with the Coon explaining that Classy got arrested while everyone was at school. Oh, god damn it, Classy. His plan is to let Freedom Pals go in on the bottom floor to do whatever it is they're planning on doing, while Coon and Friends sneak in through the second floor, where they can free Classy as they swore an oath to keep her safe and out of prison. Yeah. You go home to await the call from Mysterion, and walk in the front door to find your dad calling your mom a stupid whine-o cow. Oh, my god. They're going to have the best sex tonight. I know they're tumultuous, but god damn it if those toxic relationships don't hit sometimes.

1:25:26 She shoots back, he's one to talk, getting high all the fucking time. Dad says that marijuana is at least natural, unlike grapes. Does he say that? He does. That's fucking crazy. I love it. Holy shit. Seeing you, they snap out of the argument, saying hello and good night. As you tuck yourself in, mom appears in the doorway, saying you didn't eat your supper and to come downstairs so you can eat. Dad comes by and yells at mom, asking if she's really putting that shit in your food still. They both start slapping each other back and forth. Oh, so we've just jumped from verbal to physical abuse. Now it's just pure physical abuse. Ugh, that sucks to see.

1:26:06 Her saying that he's been putting the meds in your food as well, to which dad comes into your room and reminds you that you should really go downstairs and eat your supper, champ. Which you sadly do, alone and depressed once again. Oh, buddy. You fall asleep, only to be awoken by Mysterion opening your bedroom window. He tells you to get dressed and meet him outside. Also, you have a really cool room. I love Mysterion's superhero voice more than most things in this world. Right. It's such a good voice. He does very much like Michael Keaton Batman. Yeah. It's so good. Much more so than Christian Bale. Yeah. You've been able to group up with Mysterion ever since joining Freedom Pals, but this is your first real mission with him.

1:26:50 Mysterion's true name is Kenny McCormick, and he's one of two characters outside yourself, with actual superpowers in this universe. On the show, they revealed that the whole, oh my god, they killed Kenny thing, is some kind of curse placed upon him. If he dies, he just comes back to life the very next day with nobody ever remembering his death. In the show, the audience finds out that Kenny's parents attended a Cthulhu worshipping cults meeting one time, and the next thing she knew, Kenny's mom was pregnant. The fact that Mysterion can't die is a mechanic in the game as well. If he dies during a fight, he comes back as a ghost and can continue fighting.

1:27:31 If you don't finish the fight fast enough or revive him in time, his body becomes Hugo the Rat Boy as rodents overtake and eat it. Rats, rats, rats, rats. See, they're taking the cats away. That's right. And that's how you get the rat plagues, as we discussed in a previous episode. This is what happens when you fuck with cats. You get little rat boys. Do not fuck with cats. Don't do it. Mysterion takes you downtown toward the police station. On this night, the adults are ten times worse than they were the last time you were downtown. People flooding the streets in an inebriated frenzy. Mysterion says that the adults of this town are usually pretty awful, but this is a whole new level of insanity.

1:28:15 Something is seriously wrong as they are getting to the point of vandalization and destruction. Literally just Denver on St. Patrick's Day. You have a fun moment with Mysterion while walking, as he comments on your quiet nature. He says he can relate to it in ways you probably wouldn't understand. Oh, buddy. Arriving at the police station, you find the other members of Freedom Pals minus Dr. Timothy. Mysterion begins running down the plan when Coon and Friends arrive on the scene as well. He asks what the fuck they're doing here. Coon explains that there's a little girl trapped inside the police station and they're here to break her out. Since it has nothing to do with Freedom Pals, he says that the two groups should maybe work together.

1:28:57 That way, each franchise can accomplish their separate agendas. Everyone agrees with Mysterion making a plan to storm the lower level, while Coon and Friends take on the fire escape to the second floor. The Coon congratulates him on making such an excellent plan. Breaking into the lower level is easy. All the cops are zooted out of their fucking minds on cocaine. You make it to the chief police and he tries to reason with you, saying he knows it looks like all cops are racist toward black people. But you have to remember, there are black cops too, so they can't be racist. We don't have enough time. We don't have enough time. Don't get into it. Don't get into it. The police are just regular people like anyone else you know with families and friends.

1:29:40 And if you google police officers 40%, you can find all about what they do to their family and friends. As he says this, a random officer walks into the room, sees Tolkien Black standing there doing absolutely nothing, and immediately opens fire on him. Jesus Christ. The chief is like, God damn it, Levinsky, get your ass upstairs. The two run, so you chase after them. At the top of the landing, you find yourself outside the holding cells. In them are at least a dozen and a half people. All of them black, including Tolkin's dad. The man you were told was the drug king then. You try to free them, but are stopped by SWAT team entering the room.

1:30:21 After you defeat the highly trained law enforcement officers high on cocaine and cat piss, the chief tells you that if the roles were reversed, and all the cops here were black, with all the inmates being white, nobody would have any problem with it. Which means you are the real bigots. The cops, the casualties in this situation. Seeing that his bullshit didn't stick, he realizes you are a cad till you die and fucks off, leaving you to free the falsely imprisoned. Tolkien's dad reminds the other inmates that he's very rich and will be filing a class action lawsuit, so be sure to get his info on the way out. Hell yeah. You catch up with the chief in his office, where he has a cat strapped to one of those cheese devices.

1:31:04 Not just any cat either. It's scrambles. God damn, finally. Chief tells you he's sorry for calling you a bigot earlier. The real bigots are the politicians. They're the real problem. They're the ones turning us all against one another. Cops are the victims, just like you. You had me in the first half. Really shit the bed on the landing though. Life used to be good. They could get away with anything. Then the mayor stepped in, saying they had to change how they do things, making them all woke and shit with their body cams and accountability. The only way to combat it was by increasing crime in South Park.

1:31:45 So she would be forced to loosen the reins and allow the cops to do what they do best. Take extreme measures against perfectly innocent citizens for minor infractions. Leaning over and shoving his face in scrambles asshole, he takes a deep whiff of cheese fresh off the factory lines. And the Catholicism left his body. Members of both Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends enter the room. Immediately noticing scrambles, congratulating you on finding the missing cat. Taking in the entirety of both teams, the chief realizes he's outnumbered. He stands up saying that there is actually one white guy they keep locked up here. One so dangerous they have to keep his cell inside this very office. He walks over to a metal door and opens it, revealing a true monster.

1:32:31 Someone who in real life is considered to be one of the most vile and death-worthy pieces of shit to ever walk the planet. Again, no joke here, just fact, because out walks Jared from Subway. Yeah, immediate jail forever. Jail for life, die in jail. If you are unaware of the horrific crimes committed by this genuine subhuman cum bucket of a man, then carefully Google him knowing you're about to read some truly terrible things that require more trigger warnings than this episode. That dude sucks. The police chief grabs scrambles and leaves you to take out the fuck trash that is Jared from Subway.

1:33:11 Fuck trash? When he's defeated, you're actually given the chance to finish him off once and for all with a lethal dose of asshole air, courtesy of you. Your continued search for the chief leads you to the station's basement, where you find him and the remaining officers wearing brown cult-like robes, chanting words my skin tone does not allow me to say. Oh my god. Summoning their god, the Black Goat of the Woods. There's a stone pit in the center of the room, and the other cops are casually tossing black people into it, saying their sacrifice is the only way to summon their god. America is a country with freedom of religion, so they should have every right to practice their faith by sacrificing black people to one of the old gods.

1:33:57 That's not racism, that's religion. This was all foretold by HP Lovecraft. What, are you going to say HP Lovecraft was racist too? Another cop comes and whispers in the chief's ear and he goes, oh, he was like, really racist? Yeah. While this happens, a voice shouts out from the lineup of sacrifices. It's classy, and she begs you to save her before she gets thrown into the pit. They try shoving her into the hole, but she grabs one of the cops and pulls him down with her. The cop goes into the pit while she lands on the ground next to it, so she gets up and runs the fuck out of there. The chief says that the All-Mother hates white meat, and the creature from the pit rises to attack.

1:34:40 The goal of this fight being to feed as many cops as possible to the monster, which you do freeing the potential sacrifices and retrieving scrambles. Good. You stand with Coon and Friends to celebrate the victory, finally able to launch their film franchise thanks to the $100 reward. Freedom Pals are confused, and Dr. Timothy arrives to explain that the New Kid deceived them all. This was your plan all along in a ruse to retrieve the cat. Fastpass goes, Yeah, so suck it, Freedom Pussies, which makes the Coon double over with laughter. The Freedom Pals say they're going to fuck you up for tricking them like that. Then Dr. Timothy says, No, not you.

1:35:23 Let them do it. Looking around, you see Coon and Friends all grasp at their heads. Then Human Kite looks at you and says, It's time to die as they all attack you four on one. But don't worry, Call Girl and Professor Chaos come in from out of nowhere to help you as they don't belong to either franchise. Yeah. With their help, you fight back against your own team. After they regain control of their own minds, they help you physically dominate the disabled kid in a wheelchair. Jesus Christ. Mysterion rages at you saying, Dr. Timothy was working on a plan to help everyone, even Coon and Friends.

1:36:03 But now he can barely say his own name. He's so badly beaten and bloody. Freedom Pals invite you back to their base, making all the members of Coon and Friends comment on how much cooler it is than theirs. They reveal Dr. Timothy's top secret plan. A curtain pulls back to reveal a blackboard with an elaborate set of diagrams depicting phases 1-3 of a combined cinematic universe, with every hero receiving equal screen time across movies and TV shows. Human Kite says that this all started as one big team anyway. They're stronger together than they are divided, and offers to combine the two teams into one, saying they can all split the $100 reward.

1:36:46 Everyone cheers at the idea, except the Coon. He asks, so, like, what's our group going to be called? Freedom Pals? Everyone says that's the plan. To which he asks, does that mean since Dr. Timothy is in charge of Freedom Pals? That he'll remain in charge? Which Mysterion confirms. The Coon goes, great, that's actually a way better name than Coon and Friends, anyway. I'm totally cool with this, 100%. Toolshed says, that's settled, then. Putting his hand out, gesturing for everyone to join. They all gather in a circle, extending their own hands in its center. Toolshed shouts, retribution.

1:37:27 The others respond, but with inclusion. As they all break off and go home for the night. That's cute. The next morning, you wake up and head downstairs to find your kitchen absolutely covered from floor to ceiling in blood. Looking around, you find trails of red so you follow, but you can't find any sign of your parents anywhere. Walking through the living room, you get distracted by Good Morning South Park as it begins airing. They report the attack on the police station, saying the farting vigilante and his friends were responsible. This has prompted a new front runner in the mayoral race, as Mitch Conner has capitalized on the spike in crime to highlight the current mayor's failings.

1:38:09 Son of a bitch. They cut to City Hall, where Mitch is having a press conference. Cartman's Fist can be seen speaking at a podium, calling you a terrorist and promising to end crime in South Park. Mysterion calls an emergency meeting right after school lets out, and you head to the Freedom Pals home base. When you get there, everyone is staring at Dr. Timothy's master plan, which has been torn to shreds by some unknown person. The doctor is inconsolable as he looks at the destruction of his life's work. As you all stare in disbelief, a video message arrives on the computer. Opening the file, you find a video showing your parents tied up to chairs in a basement.

1:38:52 Mitch Conner pops into view laughing, saying he's kidnapped them. The Coon is the maddest of everyone here, constantly talking about how much of a threat Mitch Conner is. The video ends and Human Kite assaults the Coon, saying he's gone too far this time, fat ass. Where are the New Kid's parents? He says he doesn't know. Mitch Conner took them. Everyone swarms the Coon, but he escapes, running out of the house as everyone chases after him. It's the most agile Cartman's ever been. You're right. Outside, you get a call from Mitch. He leads you on a quest chain taking you all over town and forcing you to face every enemy you've encountered thus far on your journey.

1:39:33 The town is descending into madness as even the coffee is being spiked with cheese now. You eventually regroup with the others at the community center, saying they tracked Mitch to this location. You go inside and find the Coon standing on a stage, holding a microphone up to his left hand, Mitch Conner himself. The Coon warns you that he's too powerful, having stolen The New Kid's social media followers. And now, he's going to win the election in a landslide. Human Kite steps forward saying, fine, if you want us to kill Mitch Conner, then we'll fucking kill him. Sending you into a boss battle with Cartman's left fist. And just his left fist, right?

1:40:14 Just his left fist, he's just along for the ride. That's so great. You managed to defeat the sentient fist for now, and the Coon is mad at you because you never got any answers out of him. Human Kite and Tool Shed both agree that torturing the Coon is the only option left. Yeah. Since he still won't say where your parents are. After a few rounds of fart and toot and torture, the Coon mentions that Mitch Conner had some kind of plan to genetically alter the cats in South Park. There's only one person in all of South Park who has the technology and know-how to do that. Dr. Mephisto, another rare denizen dating back to the first season, who was modeled after Marlon Brando's character in the monumental flop film from 1996 called The Island of Dr.

1:41:01 Moreau. A timely reference when South Park premiered in 1997. Now just some weird man. Twenty some years later, very outdated. Yeah. You all arrive to Mephisto's lab and ring the doorbell. He tells you to come back after nightfall. It'll be spookier then. Well, it's more cinematic, so. Toolshed looks at his watch and says, that's not for another six hours. And everyone kind of looks at each other wondering what the fuck they're supposed to do till then. This gives you a vision from More God Freeman, who teaches you how to produce a fart that allows you to travel forward in time. He earns a freckle for this. With a mighty Foof, you turn day into night around you.

1:41:43 With all your super friends going, holy fucking shit, dude, what did you just do? Since the sun has now set, you are able to head into the much spookier genetic engineering lab. Yay. Inside, it looks like something out of Death Stranding, with scientists running around long hallways made of metal. Floating in a glass tube in the center of the room is a horse with four asses. Oh, no. Four asses being a specialty of Dr. Mephisto's. He's like, I'm something of a scientist myself, and this is my favorite thing to do. It's the only thing he does. Guy with eight butt cheeks sounds terrifying.

1:42:25 He offers you a tour of the facility and directs you to a tram, asking if you've ever played a game called Half-Life before. Does he really? He really does. Fuck off! No! The tour itself is reminiscent of the Disney World ride Living with the Land, as you see all sorts of fruits and vegetables being grown, all genetically modified to have four asses as well. Such a round number, four asses. Anytime anyone asks what the purpose of doing that is, he gets defensive, saying all you naysayers are alike and just stand in the way of progress. This is all in an effort to help Mephisto's long dead son, a former classmate named Terrence.

1:43:07 He died in season one after a confrontation with Barbra Streisand. Mysterion hears this and goes, ooh, I think that was us under his breath. Let's not say anything, but I think we fucked that one up. Yeah, it was definitely us. Oh shit. Call Girl asks what good resurrecting his son will be, and he says he's not trying to resurrect him. He's trying to give him four asses so he can rest in peace finally. Finally. The final stop is the defect room. His wealthy benefactor asked him to genetically modify sixth grade boys to be stronger, meaner, and angrier. No one ever needed that from that group of people. Fuck off.

1:43:47 Super Craig asks why anyone would want to fucking do that. Thank you, Craig. Mephisto says it's to protect the army of mutated cats he was paid to create. God damn it. In the next room, you find a bunch of cats, each with four asses. Naturally. Producing four times the amount of cheese as a normal cat. The only side effect being they have all become extraordinarily aggressive. No way. I mean, if I had a bunch of extra butts, I wouldn't be nice about it. At that, the power shuts off unlocking the cages. Over the PA, Mitch Conner's voice lets out an evil laugh, telling you this is the end of Freedom Pals.

1:44:32 You fight the cats first and then begin fighting your way through the facility to escape. The modified sixth graders have all broken free as well, and they're wreaking havoc on the lab, killing everyone in a white lab coat. Just like in that game Half-Life. You find Mitch Conner, who has the Coon tied up to a chair. Coon tries to warn you, but Mitch Conner punches him in the face telling the Coon to shut up. Mitch reveals his master plan on a whiteboard for why he's actually running for mayor. He wants to make every day Christmas. Human Kite tells you to secretly snap a picture of the whiteboard as evidence, so you do. With a laugh, Mitch and the Coon descend on a secret trapdoor platform, escaping.

1:45:13 As you continue trying to escape, you find your parents. Dad is strapped to a chair and tells you to go into the next room to help your mother. She's on the ground, legs shattered, her arm a bloody mess, and she begs you to go into town to find help. But first, you need to stop Mitch from getting your father's DNA, telling you to go in the other room and cut your father's head off. Oh shit. He screams back, I heard that bitch. They are so fucking toxic. Your dad explains that he tried to warn her that if anyone ever found out about you and your powers, someone would come along and try to steal their DNA in order to create a clone to use as a weapon.

1:45:57 Why should he have to die for pointing that out? She's the one who should die since she never fucking listens to anything ever. You guys should just break up. You won't be able to move forward until one of them dies, because the game says so. I've played this a few times, I think every single time I killed dad. Well, it forces you to choose via the most brutal allegory for a child of divorce ever. Oh? Kill mom or dad, which you genuinely have to do. In the next room, Mephisto is waiting with the others in the tram, saying you should have just waited and gone with them. Oh well, no harm, no foul. Jesus Christ. Just watched one of my parents die at my decision.

1:46:40 But yeah, man, it's fine. No harm. Some harm. Back in the living with the land area, you find the Coon and Mitch Connor. Mitch explains that his plan was to clone the strongest member of Coon and Friends to create the ultimate villain. Coon argues that's the laziest fucking move ever to just create the exact same character as the bad guy. Mitch says it's the perfect idea, and has yet to fail at the box office. That's true. But it doesn't matter. He wasn't able to extract your DNA, so he had to clone a different superhero entirely. From behind him, a dark mass emerges. Towering over all of you at 50 feet tall, weighing in at over three tons, is the Human Kite 2 2.

1:47:30 Not 22, just the second of the two. After an epic battle against the Behemoth, Mephisto thanks you for attending the genetic Engineering Lab Tour, and lets you know the exit is through the gift shop where you can pick up all sorts of fun knickknacks, as well as photos of you fighting that terrifying mutant. Have a Tram-tastic day, and come back and see us again real soon. You gotta love it. Outside, everyone checks their phones, only to realize you didn't fast forward time a couple hours to make it nightfall. You fast forwarded time 10 fucking days. God damn it, you over farted. Mitch Conner won the election, and he's getting sworn into office in a couple hours.

1:48:12 Again, Mitch Conner is just Cartman's left hand, but they really go out of their way to make him a rounded villain to the point you genuinely start to wonder if Cartman has any control over him. I thought you were going to say that they made him such a good villain. He's now running for political office. Oh, he won. Yeah. Yeah. True villainy. At the mayoral office, Mitch has barricaded the building and taunts you from a window. Oh shit. The Freedom Pals can't believe it. He really won. They can't get past the barricade, and it's entirely your fault. Your fart is what brought them all here. It's the reason Mitch won. Defeated, Toolshed says that there's nobody left who can help.

1:48:52 Your phone rings, and Morgan Freeman is on the line. He said he sensed a shift in the fart space continuum and assumes it must have been you. Morgan Freeman tells you to come to the taco shop. He has a plan. He hands you a seven-layer quesarito chipotle beefy nacho supreme burrito. The fart this burrito will produce is so powerful, it will rip a hole in the fabric of time itself. This is exactly like Life is Strange. But it's a one-way ticket, so treat this as your point of no return before you scarf it down. Once you're ready, you eat the burrito, bend over, and loudly tear ass in the middle of the restaurant.

1:49:35 As you are sucked into a time portal, Morgan Freeman yells, Oh no, you didn't believe in yourself enough. As everyone around you vanishes, and you awaken in an empty taco shop. Oh god damn it. You step outside to find yourself in the middle of a winter blunderland. Ship faced adults wandering a Christmas-themed town, complete with a Mitch Conner-themed roller coaster in the distance. The only friends you find are Toolshed, Human Kite, and Mysterion. They say you've taken them even further in time, which is worse. So they beg you, please take them back to the past. You try, but can't get more than a little squeak to come out of you.

1:50:17 Toolshed says, it appears you have a fractured but whole. That's the name of the game. They need to get you to a doctor quickly, so you can get your ass fixed, warning you that South Park is at its worst on Christmas, and to be careful. You know, South Park just can't handle a snow day. Out on the street, you run into Mr. Mackie, who is on his thirteenth martini. Just as he's telling you it's okay to have a drink or two on the holidays, mkay? His head explodes. Oh no! The townsfolk run in every direction screaming, It's them! It's them! You turn around to see a group of twelve happy little woodland creatures. Oh shit!

1:50:58 Hands down, the most evil fictional characters in all of South Park lore. Period. They would love to spread the word of Satan far and wide. Using your blood as the ink, then they'll pour all your innards out and have a blood orgy on top of them. Yay, blood orgy. Blood orgy! Well, there's only one person who is 0 and 1 against Satan. The reason for the season himself, Jesus H. Christ. Jesus Christ, this is where it all started. Taking a cue from one of Trey Parker's all-time favorite games, Earthbound, you have to pray to Jesus during the fight to get him to come and help you against the woodland creatures. Fuzzy pickles. But you fuck it up once more. And instead of Jesus, you call upon the only person who is 0 and 1 against Jesus.

1:51:43 A man in a big red suit with a long white beard crashes down from the sky, bruised and bloody from the wreck. He pulls a baseball bat from a giant sack saying, OK, now who called upon me bringing me crashing down here, killing my reindeer in the process? Santa? I promised you I would give you more Santa Claus this season. Yay! It's Santa! This is what you wanted. I love Santa. Santa's dealt with these little woodland fucks before and starts swinging on them immediately. Shit yeah, he goes for the fucking nuts. Let's go Santa Claus. You defeat the last of them by smashing the little baby deer's brains in. And Santa asks just what the hell is going on here. Get it St. Trickles, let's go.

1:52:23 Human Kite explains the whole Fractured But Whole situation, and Santa tells you he'll cover you while you head to the abortion clinic to find a doctor to fix your ass problems. He's the only doctor in town who has experience dealing with your asshole after all. For more on that, check out our episode that covers the first game. Or just live your life. The abortion clinic is really busy today, it being Christmas and all. That caught me, my bad. You know, it's peak season. But you promised that if the doctor could see you right away, you can stop the mayor from ever turning South Park into the shithole it is today. Everyone in the abortion clinic fucking hates Mayor Connor, and they agreed to let you skip the line.

1:53:07 Wine glass in hand, the doctor fixes up your butthole, allowing you to fart through time once again. You vanish from the clinic and the screen goes black. The screen returns to you, The New Kid, wearing a crown along with a long red cape, sitting on your throne of porcelain, taking a shit. Suddenly, another you appears, this one being the version you are currently playing, as it's wearing whatever you've selected. You follow closely behind your king self, as he heads out to play fantasy with Kyle and Butters. They see future you behind king you and make fun of you, saying, we're not playing superheroes, dumbass. Weirdo.

1:53:48 Outside, you find the other super versions of your friends, as they all time traveled too. But your group also runs into yourselves from the past. Kyle reminds you all that today is fantasy day, not superhero day, setting off a fight with the character from the previous game, including yourself, which remember, was OP as fuck. That's so cool. After the fight, you all head straight to Cartman's house to stop him from setting all of these events into motion. He's in his room, dressed as a coon, about to enter his time travel closet. Seeing you all here, he asks why you're in superhero gear already. It was his idea to play superheroes, and he was just about to ask you guys to play too.

1:54:29 Mysterion grabs the coon by the collar and demands to see his left hand. Slowly, Mitch Connor rises up into frame, saying, time travel, ain't it a bitch, freedom pals? The coon is scared, wondering just where the fuck Mitch Connor came from. He's supposed to be in jail. Mitch says he was, and he picked up a few tricks, like how to make someone fart by hitting them in the solar plexus. In a flash, Mitch headbutts you in the stomach, causing you to fart yourself and the coon far back in time. Oh, no. To your early childhood. The coon says he knows where you are now.

1:55:11 It's the night of your tragic backstory. The night you caught your dad fucking your mom. Also, there were aliens. Yeah, they kind of ignore that part. Okay. The aliens are gone now. Okay. The three of you follow your younger self out into the hallway, where the burglars are squaring off against a child. The coon tells you this is your moment of choice. Help the child defeat the criminals or defeat the child and prevent him from ever walking into his parents' room, sparing him a life of torment. The burglar is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, criminals? We just wanted to ask this kid how to help us gain more followers online. He has a talent for making friends.

1:55:53 We're here to clout farm, buddy. So you pull out your phone and take a selfie with the intruders and the younger you. But now, for the moment of truth. You stand outside the door to your parents' room. Taking a deep breath, you open the door. Inside, you find your mom and dad, fully clothed, sitting on the bed. Thank God. Mom with a bottle of wine in her hand, dad with a joint in his. The Coon rejoices, saying, you did it. You prevented your tragic backstory. Mitch Conner laughs, saying that without your tragic backstory, you can't become a hero. Which means you never develop your fart powers, making you stuck here in the past forever.

1:56:39 Letting out an evil laugh, Mitch vanishes from Coon's hand. Your parents ask, who the fuck are you? And Coon explains that you're their son from the future. They're like, yeah, that makes sense. Well, they're both a little buzzed, you know. They're like, yep, this is just what happens to us now. He's probably here for answers. So finally, after all they're fighting, they sit you down and tell you your true tragic backstory. Oh. Mom and dad both have superpowers of their own. Dad created a Facebook profile one day, and within a couple hours, he had over three million followers. You know he was posting like ass pictures or something.

1:57:23 Mom is the same, except her power worked on Instagram, with her first photo garnering over four million followers. Sheesh. It wasn't long before the government kidnapped each of them to find out where their power came from. It was in that cold, dank, dark research lab that they first met, falling in love as they were tortured and experimented on by big bad military guys. They knew you too would possess these same powers, amassing over 10 million followers on the day of your birth. They really said family fucking channel. Right. As soon as they could, they took you and ran and have been hiding out ever since, trying to remain one step ahead of the government as they hunt you down, ultimately leading them to South Park.

1:58:09 Every town they've moved to, you immediately started making friends and gaining followers online. So they've been putting drugs in your food in an attempt to dampen your powers. But all it did was give you really stinky farts. Thank god that was the only side effect though. Having exposed you to the truth, mom and dad are relieved of their burden. They no longer feel the need to drink or get high, with dad saying he believes in them as a couple, and tells mom he loves her and can't wait for their future together. With your parents Marty McFly back together, you celebrate with a reality-splintering fart, sending you and the Coon hurtling forward through time, landing just outside of a crowd of people.

1:58:51 Randy Marsh is on a stage, clutching a beer, declaring that in just a few moments, Mitch Conner will be sworn in as mayor. The Coon says there's still time. You can stop Mitch from getting sworn in if you hurry. The rest of the Freedom Pals are there too, and they're ready to kick some ass and save the day. Shit yeah. Only their target is the Coon himself. Yeah. Human Kite tells him he needs to knock it the fuck off. He is Mitch Conner, and all of this is him being an asshole. The Coon swears Mitch is a completely different person, and he has no control over him. Human Kite's bullshit. Then his own left hand lifts into the air of its own accord, forming a fist.

1:59:34 Mitch Conner's face is there saying, then how do you explain this, Kyle? The Coon tells Human Kite this isn't funny, and Human Kite insists he's not doing anything. Oh shit. Coon immediately forgets everything he said a second ago and starts yelling at Kyle to knock it off and to stop trolling, that's Kyle's fucking hand, which means Kyle's the one doing it. Human Kite goes, ah, so you were faking it before. Coon stumbles over his words, but is interrupted by Mitch Conner saying, this was his plan all along, to sow discord and contempt among the Freedom Pals, causing them to crumble from the inside. Even Toolshit goes, dude, seriously, is this you, Kyle?

2:00:16 Mysterion looks on and goes, I have no fucking clue what is happening right now. Mitch continues on with his villain rant, saying that he's done it. Nobody trusts anyone and after only a few choice words, now they have to decide, attack the Coon or attack Mitch Conner. The Coon says, fuck this and launches an attack on Mitch, with Human Kite nervously along for the ride against his will. Mid-fight, the Coon has his own Mitch Conner on his left hand as well, with Human Kite's calling him an imposter. Motherfucker. Coon's fist insists that he is the original and that the one on Human Kite's hand is a fake. Everyone watching is so confused that Dr.

2:00:57 Timothy declares both Human Kite and the Coon as enemies, and commands the rest of The Freedom Pals to gang up on both. Yeah. Human Kite doesn't like it, but he understands. Coon doesn't like it and refuses to understand. Very in line. After a beating, the Coon and Human Kite argue over who is going to admit to faking the whole Mitch Conner thing first. Neither are conceding, so the Coon comes up with a compromise. On the count of three, both will say, I was just fucking with you. On three, Human Kite says it, but the Coon doesn't. Motherfucker. With the confession that Human Kite was making it all up, the Coon runs off to get Mitch sworn in as mayor.

2:01:41 At the podium, his little fist awaits inauguration. Just as the justice begins to swear him in, Toolshed stops the ceremony. He gets on the mic and pulls Coon up by the ears, saying this asshole is just trying to get his movie franchise off the ground. Expose him, yes, this is why the marshes are the Kennedys of South Park, baby. Mr. Mackey from the crowd goes, is Mitch Conner riding a fat raccoon? Because he's still got his fucking face mask on and shit. He does, he's still dressed as a raccoon. He's fully raccooned out. During this distraction, Call Girl posts the planning sheet Mitch Conner had detailing his evil project 2025.

2:02:22 Sorry, America. He just wants to make South Park great again. He wants to make America Christmas again. Sorry, I'm losing it. Fuck me. Oh, I want to be free of this housecape. Everyone gets an alert on their phone causing outrage as they discover they have all been lied to and poisoned by Mitch Conner. Stan Marsh asks why and Mitch begins to explain his tragic backstory. For you see, New Kid is not the only one who discovered their parent getting fucked. When Mitch was nine, he walked in to find his dad getting fucked, swearing to end the world just to run from the pain that night caused.

2:03:12 Toolshed tells him to shut the fuck up, but Arando and the crowd goes, shh, I want to hear this. Let him cook, let him cook. Coon's right hand rises, and a woman's face is painted on to his right fist. It's Mitch's mom telling him it was her. She was the one who fucked his dad all those years ago. The two get into a literal fistfight as they both die. Someone's like, well, that was fucked up. Now let's go get some clean drugs from the next town over and forget about all this. With a resounding cheer, the crowd disperses to find a better, cleaner high, giving Randy Marsh an idea that would change his life and character forever.

2:03:57 Fuck yeah. Back home, both of your parents are alive and well. Sitting on the couch, being cute as hell with each other, head over heels in love. Saying that ever since they came clean to you all those years ago, something has felt different for some reason. Right even. They head upstairs to their room to declare their love for one another on a more physical level. Oh, like on a hit. Letting you know there's dinner on the table. Standing outside their bedroom, you hear the sounds of them fucking. Like romantically. You hear a laugh come from behind you in a voice saying, did you really think you could stop bad things from happening? Panning over, Professor Chaos is revealed to be in your house standing next to you.

2:04:41 He tells you that no matter how hard you try to change the past, your dad will always fuck your mom. Wait, that's actually romantic. He doesn't realize it, but that's on commitment. So why not lean into your chaotic side for a change? With another evil laugh, the screen goes black and the credits roll. I need the third game. Come on. Well, yeah, that was the end and probably for good as we do not talk about Snow Day. No. Actually, we will be covering the DLC to this game on our Patreon, especially the one titled From Dusk Till Casa Bonita. Yeah. As Andrea and I have been there IRL prior to Trey and Matt purchasing it.

2:05:22 It sucked. And we'll be talking about our experience as well as the DLC itself. Oh, I kind of spoiled that one a little. There's your preview. I have a knee jerk reaction. I'm sorry. So that was South Park, The Fractured But Whole. Thanks, Tom. That was a fun one. I was so happy to go back to South Park. I love South Park, as you know, and just this was such a fantastic fucking game. Oh, it really is. Now, I listened to the first episode that you did on this in preparation, because I haven't picked up these games in a long time. And both of the games blended a lot for me in my memory. Like I said, I haven't picked this up in years, but I was like, holy shit, we cover a lot of ground in these games.

2:06:04 Really do, right? Yeah. So many different seasons. Who's your favorite superhero? My favorite of the superheroes? Yeah. I really like Captain Diabetes. Yeah. He's great. I love his super strength, all that stuff. He really risks it all. He did. Fastpass is also a great character to play with. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Fantastic. I love Call Girl. Call Girl's great. I do love her super move, the Phone Destroyer, because it's actually more of a take on Pokemon Go. Yeah. Were they all rushed with their phones looking for the Chin Pokemon? Yeah, it's a Chin Pokemon app. Go. Yeah, it's really well done. It hits for me. Imagine that. I just got level 48 on Pokemon Go like this week.

2:06:45 I'm so fucking unreasonably proud. And if you don't play Pokemon Go, that's a huge achievement. And even if you do, you're like, you're still playing. I think most people think that. That's OK. Well, if you enjoyed that, Goombas, make sure you like us, you subscribe to us, you do all the different things. You can now comment on Spotify. I didn't know that. That's cool. And if you subscribe, you'll get another episode next Wednesday. Actually, even if you don't subscribe, there'll be another episode next Wednesday. Regardless. But if you subscribe, it will make it easier. Pretty cool. Well, make sure to go over to our website, theothercastlepodcast.com. That's the othercastlepodcast.com. Where you can find a link to our Patreon where our patrons make this show ad free. We love you. So we want to give them a shout out, starting with Anne-Marie, Little Brimstone, Landon, Anurban, Matthew, Zan, Autumn, Alex, Sid, Jutsu, Mozart, Tamiya, Hippity Hoppity Cthulhu on your property, Ian, Danny, Zyra, Ari, Big Cat PDX, Chase, Alfredo, Micolash, Taremac, Amber, Berserk Panda, QM1993, Damien, That Chunky Boy, AJ, Porting to the Bridges, Paul, Omar, Aaron, Cerise, Molly, Krisha, Mollymauk, Jackie, Jacob, Ellen, Steamed Hams from Albany.

2:08:05 Thank you for keeping the show running and ad-free. We appreciate you very much. You all are so wonderful and thank you so much. We are going to see you all in the Discord Goombas and until next time, this is Tom and Andrea reminding you. If Morgan Freeman tells you to do something, you better fucking listen. That man deserves his freckles. And don't skip the cutscenes.